The last few years have been pretty tough on us. Though we had the good news of our 3rd child entering the world, the past 3 years have been mostly spent dealing with the prolonged illnesses and deaths of both of my wife’s parents. My wife has been through an emotional roller coaster in trying to deal with all these feelings and I’ve done the best I can to support her.
One of the most difficult things she’s had to deal with is selling her parent’s home. As an only child she inherited everything and that includes the house she grew up in. And although a number of people have told us we should just live there ourselves because the mortgage is paid off, that’s not our plan. While it is a beautiful home there are a number of factors that make it undesirable for us to stay there long term.
And so we’ve been steadily working on cleaning it out (40 years of stuff saved up in the basement and attic!) and doing some minor cosmetic work to get it ready for sale. We did some painting and I installed a new sink, vanity and light fixture in the bathroom…and we’re getting the hardwood floors refinished this week to repair the damage done by their dog over the years.
I can’t imagine the emotions my wife must be going through as she prepares to sell the home she grew up in. There’s a lot of wonderful memories in that house and my wife tears up as soon as she steps inside. She’s constantly being pulled in opposite directions as one part of her just wants to get rid of the house and move on while the other part can’t bear the thought of it.
In the end, it’s the best thing for us to do. We can use the proceeds from the sale to pay off our debt and start with a clean slate, and hopefully not make the same mistakes again. Then we can focus on buying a new home with more room because quite frankly our current house is about to burst at the seams. It’s only going to get worse as the kids grow so we need to plan ahead and find something that better meets our needs. Once my in-law’s house sells we’ll have to temporarily keep some stuff in a StorageMart until we are ready to move into a new house.
With luck the house will sell quickly and we’ll be able to move on and get back to a somewhat normal existence.
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
I am really sorry to hear about your wife’s plight over the last couple years, it sounds horrible, and to bear it as a single child…wow. I think it is a great call not to keep the house, it would never be “your” house
Evan´s last [type] ..Why Investment Services or Subscriptions Probably Don’t Make Sense to Purchase
Thanks Evan, I appreciate the kind words.
I feel your pain! I went through that after Mom’s death about six (6) years ago. She had dementia for roughly three (3) years, it was very difficult! We gave away a lot of clothes and things, replaced the carpet and painted it to get it ready for sale. Luckily, it sold quickly. Good luck.
krantcents´s last [type] ..Financial Skills for Teens
Losing parents is difficult and it can be very hard to let go of the physical setting in which you grew up.
Hopefully your wife is carefully selecting a few special items to share with your children – the things that help define her parent’s legacy to your kids. You certainly can’t keep everything, but having a few selected items to pass generation to generation can positively bring the past to life!
Marie@familymoneyvalues´s last [type] ..Tax Lien Certificates – Sure thing or unknown abyss
Sorry to hear about your in-laws.
The house would sell just fine. In many neighborhoods, real estate has been picking up.
Many times, it’s good to start with a clean slate.
Doable Finance´s last [type] ..Test Yourself If You Need Credit Counseling
I am so sorry for what your family is going through. I know it is hard to grieve, and it is also hard to know how to help those who are grieving. Plus, you wife has it ‘in her face’ all the time with having to deal with the house, I really feel sad for her. Being an only child and not having anyone else exactly ‘in her shoes’ must be hard, because nobody can understand like a sibling can.
I wish you the best of luck in selling the house, and also in your family’s healing. Death is awful, and I don’t think there really ever is such a thing as closure. You will always have love for that person, and memories and reminders. Just because a certain span of time has past doesn’t mean that someone is magically ‘over’ a death.
Sorry for the long comment…
Everyday Tips´s last [type] ..‘Extreme’ Couponing What About ‘Balanced’ Couponing
You and your wife have my complete sympathy. It sounds like you both have been through some very emotional years. I hope the next ones are filled with nothing but happiness!
Good luck with the sell and yay for paying down debt when you do!
Unless you have just a single in-law, then it should be “…Getting the In-Laws’ House on the Market” and “…selling her parents’ home.”
You should really brush up on your punctuation!
Good luck with the process. We all have to deal with these life transitions and they are never easy. I hope the process is as stressfree as possible.
Barb Friedberg´s last [type] ..HOME BUYING ALERT