Have you ever been out in a crowded place, turned around for just a second, and then realized that you had no idea where your child was?
Words can’t adequately describe the emotions that hit you like a freight train and leave you shaken to the core. We experienced those feelings last week while on vacation at the NJ shore town of Wildwood.
There were 10 of us walking down the boardwalk together…my family of 5, our friends and their two kids, and my sister who came down just for the day. The boardwalk was crowded and full of distractions, and as we walked we decided to make a detour into a pizzeria for a quick bite to eat.
We strolled inside and made our way to one of the larger tables and began to sit down. As a parent of 3 little ones who can take off without warning, I’ve trained myself to do a quick visual scan every couple of minutes to make sure no one is missing. I must do it 200 times a day.
1, 2, 3.
1…2…………….ok, there’s number 3. Whew!
Well as we began to sit down for a few slices of pizza I did a quick scan…and this time I came up one short.
My three were all accounted for but our friend’s 4 year old daughter Lauren was missing.
Oh Shit.
My sister stayed inside to watch the kids and the rest of us ran outside and split up in different directions. I searched through the arcade next door hoping she got distracted by the games and wandered inside. No luck.
I headed back to the front of the restaurant to regroup and started scanning the crowd until I saw Lauren’s mom headed toward me…with Lauren safely in tow.
Fortunately we got lucky and no harm came to Lauren or anyone else. But she was missing for about 10 minutes, and let me tell you the thoughts going through our heads were not pleasant.
As we belatedly sat down to enjoy our pizza, the adults laid down some rules to keep the kids safe at the boardwalk and at other events in the future.
Tips to Keep Kids Safe in Public Places
1. Discuss what could happen to your kids if they get lost. You don’t need to go into lurid detail, but this isn’t the time for sugarcoating either. They need to understand that there are bad people in the world who can hurt them or take them away from their mommy and daddy. A little fear is good.
2. Right before you go out, take a picture of the kids with your cell phone. If the worst happens and one goes missing, you might be so upset that you can’t remember what they were wearing. Having a picture handy will help you provide a description to searchers.
3. Choose a landmark to meet at in case anyone gets separated. On the boardwalk we told our little ones to go straight to the carousel if they got lost. They could see it from anywhere on the pier and we would all meet there together. This gives them an idea of what to do so they don’t panic.
4. Specify which adult is watching which child. Don’t just assume that your spouse is watching the kids…he or she may be assuming you are keeping an eye on them. If you have more than one it’s helpful to actually decide who is responsible for who on that particular night.
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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh my gosh, that is the WORST feeling in the world. My youngest was just a wild man, and he would run away every chance he got. It was exhausting keeping up with him, along with our 2 other children.
Another thing I know people do is dress their kids in the same shirt (usually bright) if they go to crowded areas for easy identification. The cell phone picture is a great idea.
Everyday Tips´s last [type] ..Thoughts For Thursday – I Can’t Take the Heat!
Wearing the same colors is a good idea…at least until they get old enough to want to choose their own clothes.
Good tips. Our little one is just toddling around and he’s easy to keep an eye on, but I can tell that he’s going to be an explorer and independent, so this will be a helpful list to keep in mind!
Money Beagle´s last [type] ..12 Ways to Save And Survive At The Outlet Center
LOL…just wait. As soon as they are mobile you’ll constantly be chasing him! And he’ll get into things you never even thought about.
This is such a terrible feeling!
I think these are all great tips – especially taking a picture. You are definitely right about needing to assign adults to the kids. It is so easy to assume that in a group “someone” is watching them – but that is definitely not the place for assumptions!
Khaleef @ KNS Financial´s last [type] ..Do You Really Need An Emergency Fund
Exactly. In the words of Felix Unger, “When you ASSUME, you make an ASS out of U and ME.”
I was the kid that wandered off all the time (before cell phones), so my mom could probably go on forever about that. Having an adult assigned to the specific kids is a great idea!
I think we all wandered off at one point or another. As kids, we just don’t understand.
When I was younger, we had a family rule for being in malls or amusement parks that no one was to ever leave a store / ride. That way if you couldn’t find someone you knew they were in that space. It also helps that both my parents are over 6′ so I could always spot them…
That’s a good way to at least narrow down the search.
The meeting place is actually a great idea I’d never heard of before.
Wow! That was scary reading along (you have good storytelling skills). Glad it turned out OK and I think it’s a great idea to lay down ground rules and let the kids know you are 100% serious about the rules and that it is not a joking matter by any stretch of the imagination.
I particularly like the “landmark” idea. I even do that with friends in case we get lost and don’t have cell phones for some reason.
Hey Andrew, thanks for stopping by and thanks again for the feedback. Glad you liked the article.
You’re right, you don’t need kids to use the landmark idea. Great point!
I was so freaked out today. My 2.7 month old daughter is impossible to keep still, but she does a pretty good job of running around and still staying in sight. We went to a new mall in my town today and some friends came up to us. My daughter was running around a rack and back to me as a game and I just took a minute to be nice to these people and then she didnt come running as I expected. I turned to see if she had gone to her daddy who was talking to someone a foot away, but no! I went crazy looking around the racks and screaming her name for a few minutes until the friend decided to cover the exits and found her there. I am normally so paranoid. Of late I’ve been telling myself she’s older, just give her a little bit of freedom…and then this happens. And so much judgment from the friends…”Oh, we used to be so careful when our kids were small…”. Someone say something nice!
Wow, that’s scary! I’m so glad it turned out alright. There’s no worse feeling than thinking something has happened to one of your kids.
We’ve been in similar situations too where you turn your back for a second and they disappear. Now matter how incredibly careful you are it can still happen in the blink of an eye.
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